Crumbling Bedrock

All the cheaters of the world are nothing when compared to them who cheat on themselves. Yesterday I impersonated as a customer to glean information from a long-established competitor of the concern I work for. It caused me significant ethical distress and I lost the inner peace so essential to meditate. It also made me acutely aware of the colossus contradictions inherent in me. While professing to realize the blessed unity beyond apparent divisions, I have never developed the ethical bedrock on which the edifice of sustained meditation has to be assiduously built. My past is marred by blatant lies, delusions, lust and jealousy. By being dishonest to myself I have obstructed my inner effulgence to shine in its magnificent splendor. However, I feel introspection rather than self-condemnation is the way out. I must find out what makes me immoral and remove the obstructions.